Build your platform

build your online platform

My husband is an audio engineer.

I could not be more proud of him – over the last 5-or-so-years since we moved back to Los Angeles he has hustled his little tail off getting recording clients, honing his mixing skills, networking at concerts (when he really would rather have been at home with the cats) and just getting his name out there in the music scene that he wants to work in. He’s recorded some great bands and is constantly getting great word-of-mouth referrals for new clients.

My cousin is a sports writer.

He may just be in high school, but he’s been writing about the Clippers on a major basketball website for years. He runs online discussions during games, and most other participants don’t know he doesn’t even have a driver’s license yet. He’s been interviewed by media in other parts of the country (not many writers specialize on the Clippers) and he has started building up a solid portfolio for his college application.

I’ve followed Elsie Larson’s blog for something like 8 years.

I’ve watched her evolve from a scrapbooker, to a scrapbook product designer, to an artist, to a vintage seller to a fashion designer to a media empire mogul. I’m sure I missed a couple other jobs in there. She has been able to pursue what she loves for years, and recently announced that she and her sister have a book coming out and will be turning their focus to their website.

What do these 3 people have in common?

Totally different industries. Totally different job descriptions. But none of the three work in an average, skill-less job.

And all 3 have (or are setting up) an online platform.

If you are a regular reader of Lemon and Raspberry, you are in no way average. You read this site because you believe you can do something special and have something GREAT to offer the world. You read this site because you recognize you have something to offer.

Which means you ALSO need an online platform.

Your platform can be just a site with your credits – we’re working on a redesign of my husband’s site which will prominently feature his past credits because we know that is what potential clients look at first.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, your platform could also be a frequently updated blog – A Beautiful Mess is a media powerhouse that works as the perfect leverage for Elsie and Emma’s upcoming books, showing publishers they can create fantastic content regularly, with a growing audience that wants to read it.

So what do you want to do? And how can an online platform help?

Maybe you want to work on the social media team for an animal-focused non-profit? Start a blog highlighting various animal-focused events, companies and non-profits, using your social media skills to bring attention to their causes.

Maybe you want to write a book about New England gardening? Write a blog on the topic, attracting readers and demonstrating your knowledge.

Maybe you want to be a reality TV star? Start a website and post regular video clips of your dramatic life, attracting viewers and demonstrating your on camera personality.

Assuming you want to do something with your life that is NOT average, you can definitely use an online platform.

P.S. I’ll be announcing details of my big big blogging ecourse next week! Be sure you’re subscribed to L&R posts or to the newsletter for the latest!

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What do I want?: Long-term goals

As inspired by Kam’s post about her long-term goals … I thought my birthday week would be the perfect time to post some of my LONG term goals.

headshot - eyesclosedI have to be honest …. this isn’t easy.

The first one on my list is my current goal – the goal that ALL my energies are currently focused on. I can’t really see beyond that goal. A lot goes into reaching that goal and I can’t even come close to imagining my life once that goal is accomplished.

But I did my best.

I tried to be both realistic/SMART …. AND still dreaming big.

It feels BRAVE and vulnerable to put some of these out there …. like, who am I to make $3000+/month on the internet??? That’s crazy. Yea, right, like I’m really going to publish a novel. Please.

That’s what I’m thinking right now.

But I’m going to hit PUBLISH on this post anyway.

Because this is the YEAR OF BRAVE…. even if being brave is just publicly declaring goals.

By April 2018 (36th birthday)

I have left my cubicle job long long ago

I have finished writing 2 novels and am working on a third.

One of those novels is published, selling well and I’ve been able to go on a solid book-tour visiting all 50 states.

I regularly have an income of at least $3000/month coming from my various online-offered products and services

Andrew and I have traveled to 3 or 4 different locales (undecided where at the moment) – I would like it to be more, but his job is demanding.

I have traveled alone to a few places around the U.S. working on a pet-project non-fiction book about the presidents.

Andrew and I have paid off his student loan and my student loan and have started paying extra toward our mortgage.

We’ve bought new-to-us cars (1 for each of us) in cash. No new debt.

I indulge in sugar a *tiny* bit to celebrate my birthday, but it feels so rich because I never eat sugar/gluten otherwise and feel so healthy for it.

Again … I can’t really think beyond that. Maybe in a year or so I’ll revisit these and see if they are things I still want (obviously the paying off debt will be)

What are your long term goals?

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Reminder: You are amazing

When I was in college I wouldn’t participate in class that much … It was supposed to be a discussion and all, but the teacher would ask a question about whatever novel, and the answers I thought of just seemed so absurdly obvious I thought it couldn’t possibly be the answer the teacher was asking.

Turns out I was wrong.

Good thing my papers counted more than in-class-participation.

Critical reading is one of those things that I just can do naturally that I forget not everyone else can.

You know that thing that YOU do? That skill that you’ve always had? That not-really-a-talent-but-other-people-seem-impressed thing?

Yea, that.

DO THAT.

Now that I am (mostly) a grown-up, I realize that I do, in fact have talents and skills and abilities.

I can’t do science – it is INCREDIBLE to me that there are people out there who just *get* chemistry.

That is obvious to them, but amazing to me.

I can’t get excited about cleaning. I do it because it needs to be done, not because I enjoy it.

But there are people I know personally who clean FOR FUN. For stress relief.

Amazing to me.

What is obvious to you but might be genius to someone else?

Maybe that’s your GREAT WORK. Maybe it’s your next job. Maybe it’s just a piece of art that should be shared with the world.

It might feel ordinary and obvious to you, but in reality, you are AWESOME and you have something to share that will just be AMAZING to others.

Related: Project hangovers and self-criticism

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If you don’t follow me on Instagram, periodically I Instagram photos of whatever book I happen to be reading on my #lunchbreak at the day job

In doing so, I regularly get requests for book reviews, and since this is the YEAR OF BRAVE, I thought Daring Greatly by Brene Brown was a perfect book to start with.DaringGreatly_cover

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown

I really liked it – but I am not sure I LOVED it.

You should still read it, but I don’t think it’s the kind of book I will want to re-read necessarily.

All of that said …. I did still REALLY like it. I took notes, and texted Kam a photo of a quote and I definitely think you should read the book.

At first, I thought it would be more self-helpy, but in fact it’s far more academic than I expected. No charts or piles of numbers or anything like that, but the whole book is built on a solid foundation of RESEARCH.

Not surprising, considering it was written by a PhD, but not necessarily what you would expect from a book about something as elusive and not-totally-measurable as vulnerability.

But, because the book is so grounded in years (and years) of careful research, you can’t help but trust what she says ….

….. and what she says is living a brave life, living wholehearedly and embracing vulnerability, is a key to happiness.

The book includes chapters on parenting and work-leadership (a la CEOs, etc), and begins with a quote from Theodore Roosevelt:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly… “

Some big takeaways from the book ….

What is worth doing even if I fail?

The journey and the learning and the doing involved, even if the end result doesn’t work out. Even the tiny things I’m trying to do every week to be brave are worth doing … just to get in the habit of getting out of my comfort zone regularly. As Brown writes, “The willingness to show up changes us. It makes us a little braver each time” (42).

This is a reminder to do and try anyway.

Our inner critic is a gremlin.

That little voice that tells me I’m not smart enough, or talented enough or good enough will just multiply in your head …. unless you shine bright lights on it and stay aware of it. Brown offers examples and ideas for silencing that inner voice.

Often we are more critical of ourselves than anyone else is.

For example, I don’t personally think I’m a great singer …. but enough people have told me I am that I have to believe it. Or at least accept it. But if I kept my voice just to myself I would always think it was just OK instead of sharing it with others. (I hope that makes sense)

Growing is uncomfortable.

Lean into. This is something I need to remember for this fall’s Onward and Upward workshop.

“The big challenge for leaders [or bloggers or teachers, etc] is getting our heads and hearts around the fact that we need to cultivate the courage to be uncomfortable and to teach the people around us how to accept discomfort as a part of growth” (199).

My favorite quote from the book ….

“I explained that I had spent many years never trying anything that I wasn’t already good at doing, and how those choices almost made me forget what it feels like to be brave. I said, ‘Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up’”(243) – which is why if you tell me that signing up for an art journaling class is brave I BELIEVE YOU. If you tell me that initiating a conversation with another mom while waiting to pick up your kids is brave, I WILL CHEER YOU ON.

Brave - Brene Brown

Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.

Or start.

Or finish.

Bravery is different for everyone ….

In the end …. reading this book helped me remember WHY I want to dare greatly. I knew I wanted to be brave this year, but this refocused on why that is important.

I think Brene Brown is super smart and incredibly fascinating, and I’ve already added all her other books to my to-read list.

PLUS: She’ll be on 2 episodes of Oprah’s Super Soul Sundays which should be fantastic. Make sure you check those out.

More reviews from around the web:

P.S. Don’t forget to check out her downloads and badges associated with the book

Have you read Daring Greatly? What did you think?

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Fail big. Fail often.

2013 is my year of being brave.zackjamie  023

And the GOAL is to make being brave such an integral part of my every day that every year going forward I can easily continue being brave and going out of my comfort zone and risking failure.

I need to risk more. I need to go out on more limbs and revel in uncertainty.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT  …to be doing the same thing over and over – 40 hours a week for 40 years.

When I really stop to think, it’s a bit strange that I haven’t been more brave in my life. I mean, it’s not as though I’ve ever …. broken a bone jumping off a cliff, or lost my car gambling or was humiliated publicly. I don’t have any negative connotations associated with being brave.

And yet somehow I’ve internalized the idea that failure of any kind is to be avoided at all costs.

Mistakes make me anxious – even the teeny tiny mistakes make my face all flushed and my heart tightens. I can physically feel that second of anxiety of stress when I realize I’ve made an error that matters. That is the feeling I’m avoiding by not risking more. But I shouldn’t really worry about that because apparently studies show that when you feel you are allowed to make mistakes, you are significantly less likely to actually make them! 

That feeling is not fatal.

I need to remember that. And the more mistakes I make, the more I fail, the bigger and bolder my risks will get and the more I’ll get used to that physical sensation if I fail.

As I type this (these last few weeks and in the coming months) … I’m in the middle of a big change – a lifestyle shift and negotiations and uncertainty and exposing myself and my decisions to scrutiny from all sides.

I’m finally (after years of putting it off for all kinds of good reasons and some bad reasons) mentally ready to just QUIT my day job and risk going full-time freelance. And, believe me, it is a risk. There’s a chance of failure. There’s a chance of going into debt just to buy groceries. There’s a chance of having to sell one of our cars just for the cash.

But, the more I think about it and the more I talk it over with Andrew, I realize those are small chances.

But, still. I MIGHT fail. I MIGHT screw something up royally. I MIGHT realize that working for myself isn’t for me and have to return hat in hand to the corporate world.

But, I think I’m ready to try. To risk it.

I think I’m ready to fail big. Don’t fail by copying others. Don’t fail by not trying. Don’t fail by never starting.

This is your guarantee of failure. Proceed anyway.

So this year I’m going to be brave.

I’m going to risk more. I’m going to move toward the possibility of failure.

Previous posts on failure:

How to fail

Bad ideas are normal

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

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being brave

I’m trying, y’all.

2013 is my year to BE BRAVE.AE_OLW2013_promoimage3_low-500x548

I signed up for Ali Edwards’ One Little Word workshop….

Every month she posts an exercise or other project – so far I’ve just done January’s.

I spent some time over a couple days thinking about what I wanted to do … and then another couple days to really figure out how to do it….

And ended up with this. These small cards are about the size of baseball cards and are in my One Little Word binder back to back in a single page.

The washi tape is all Freckled Fawn. The typeface is Tw Cen MT Ultra Bold. The doodles are my own – just black marker on white cardstock.

BRAVE - January

Between One Little Word and my year of brave series, I’m really trying to focus on being brave in 2013.

Other brave things I’ve found ….

P.S. Elise posted an update of her One Little Word book a week or so ago and my wheels started turning…. What else can/should I add to my book? Excited to make it my own! Check out other One Little Word projects from Megan and Kam.

I love having the same word as 2 other people I really admire (Kam and Elise)! So interesting to see how we all approach it differently

How’s your One Little Word doing?

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Making Things Happen (Lara Casey)

I realize it is February, but as Lara Casey says “there’s nothing magical about January 1st.”

If you are feeling like you’re in a rut, if you’re feeling like there’s something more to life than what you’ve got now, maybe you need to do some hard thinking and take steps to Making Things Happen.

Lara Casey works in the wedding industry – I’ve followed her online for 4+ years or so – and she happens to be an incredibly inspirational thought leader, cheerleader and honest woman.

I collected all of her recent Making Things Happen in 2013 posts for you to peruse. Figure out what it was about 2012 that’s still getting you down. Figure out the specific changes you’re going to make in this new year.

I worked through all of these the other night in an hour or so. Not the clearing the clutter. I didn’t actually get up. But the rest of it.

I really know what I want to accomplish this year, but these steps helped me clarify WHY and what are my intentions are behind the ideas and goals I have.

Note #1 : Lara doesn’t exactly adhere to the idea of S.M.A.R.T. Goals. Read Kam’s post here about making specific, attainable goals. Instead, Lara’s Making Things Happen steps are more about finding and establishing your INTENTIONS for the coming months and year. Totally great. Absolutely admirable and (I think) necessary. But they’re not “goals”.

Note #2: This is similar but not exactly the same as Susannah Conway’s Unravelling workbook. And someone else’s perspective can’t hurt.

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How to read a book a week

Cancel your cable service

Log in to your Goodreads account regularly to remind yourself of all the amazing books out there that you have not yet read

Get a library card and remove the financial obstacle to reading a lot

Be interested in a variety of topics

Read the ‘new books’ sections of magazines (they’re everywhere from US Weekly to Vanity Fair) and find something new to get excited about

But be OK with quitting books partway through and moving to something that interests you more

Carry a purse/bag large enough to hold a book (or ereader) – and carry one with you all the time

Keep a pile(s) of to-read books visible in your home (I have 3 piles throughout the house)

Build 10 minutes of in-bed reading into your nightly routine

Always have a book at work for your lunch breaks

Know which writers you love and seek out all their works

Borrow books (from friends or the library) with a deadline to have them read and returned

Find enjoyment in many different styles of writing (be easy to please)

Revel in those guilty pleasure books (for me it’s true crime)

Tweet/Instagram/blog/Facebook whatever you’re reading and get encouragement and moral support in return.

Take public transportation (or carpool) when you can, and read while someone else drives

Give entire days off over to reading when possible

Pick out a ‘reading chair’ or other corner of your home where you can comfortably curl up for any length of time, secluded, with a spot for your beverage of choice nearby

Commit to a reading goal (like a book a week or learning everything you can about the Revolutionary War)

Read even more. The more you read the faster you get at it.

What are your tricks for reading more every week?

In 2012 I read 68 books – more than a book a week. 2013: here I come!

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Productivity Week : do

DO - productivity workshop

For the last day of this little mini online workshop, I want to encourage you to just do.

Start

Go

Mantra for the week? Being productive is about directing your energy appropriately.

What is keeping you from doing that?

Drop all the excuses and really LOOK at what is keeping you from starting that ebook or finishing that new product line or committing to writing every day.

It’s not that you haven’t yet read Getting Things Done. It’s not that you haven’t found a good to-do list app.

What is holding you back?

It’s far more likely to be something like FEAR

- fear of success, fear of failure, fear of judgement, fear of wasting money on something that doesn’t work out, fear of not being able to explain to your husband why you need to stay up late writing emails to potential contributors

Or maybe it’s TIME

- you’re overcommitted at work, you’ve overcommitted your children and need to serve as their chauffeur, you haven’t asked for help on things at home so you spend all your time doing it yourself

Or maybe it’s INDECISION, or SELF-CONFIDENCE or any number of things that don’t actually scream productivity.

So what are you going to do in this new year to be more productive and get more of what you WANT to do done?

Leave your best ideas in the comments

(and stay tuned this afternoon for a final collection of productivity-related resources)

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Productivity: Don’t try to balance

DO - productivity workshop

If you’re trying to be more productive in this new year, you need to practice starting, you need to acknowledge your priorities and you need to decide what you will NOT do. Productivity is not about what app is the absolute best or what pen really helps you write better to do lists.

Being productive is about directing your energy appropriately.

All that said, productivity is NOT the same thing as maintaining work-life balance.

Sometimes to get things done you just need to go full-throttle. Give up the idea of balance.

This is something that Danielle LaPorte espouses, something that Becca Robinson has written about and something that Leo Babauta practices (even if not explicitly).

Here’s the idea:

You are SUPER excited about the new ebook idea you have. You feel like you could write the whole thing this weekend, spend another couple days designing, getting your launch copy ready and kicking the thing out the door by the end of next week. You are gung-ho, delirious and smitten with your idea and want to get it all done RIGHT NOW.

But what about balance? You’re supposed to call your mother Sunday afternoons. Somebody should do the laundry today.

So you set aside your burning passion in favor of those everyday things that make up the “life” part of “work-life” balance. You carve in a couple hours here and there to write your ebook, but the longer you wait the more you lose that passion and the darn thing doesn’t get released for 4 months. And even then, it’s just OK. Somehow you’ve lost that spark that made your initial idea irresistible.

The solution? Throw expectations of “balance” out the window.

Danielle LaPorte offers SPECIFIC examples in her book FireStarter Sessions (like set up a polite auto-reply for your email during those 2 months you are consumed writing your book manuscript), but to me the biggest thing is giving yourself permission to let some things slide so you can be more productive at other things.

It’s totally OK if you do 1 whole month of Project Life at once because you were too busy writing your first novel to do it week to week. It is totally OK to give your teenage son the grocery list this week (he’s got to learn sometime) because you are in deep with finishing that quilt for your friend’s baby.

Don’t worry about “work-life balance”

Worry about what you are passionate about right now. Worry about what you CHOOSE to do right now. Worry about your current projects that really spark your creativity.

You can spend next week cleaning your house.

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