This month has been about finalizing some big changes.
I have finally been BRAVE enough to do that thing that I’ve been thinking about for about 2 years.
I dissolved my photography business. Officially official. The state of CA has my paperwork and the bank has closed my account and the only think I have left to do is take down my site and close my email account.
My emotions have completely swung the whole gamut over the last couple years, fighting with myself, talking myself into it, admitting things about myself that I have only recently discovered. It would have been fascinating to watch if it wasn’t happening for me. As it is, I’m glad I’m through it all.
I think that I am a good (enough) photographer. I think that I am a good (enough) businessperson. I live in SoCal where there are plenty of people who have money to pay for wedding photographs. I genuinely love weddings. I genuinely love documentary-style photography and I think everyone should have fantastic wedding photos that they love. I am still proud of the work that I’ve done for couples since 2008.
All of that said – being a professional wedding photographer is not for me.
There are a lot of reasons. Big reasons and little reasons. Tiny preferences, practicalities and discoveries about my personality. Being a professional photographer is A LOT OF WORK …. so it had better be work you definitely want to do.
And it’s not for me. Not for the rest of my life.
It took me awhile to get here, but I am looking forward to ending this phase of my life and having more focus to move forward into the next one.
I’m really really excited about it!
If you are also letting go of a past dream….
- Allow yourself time to mourn. I’ve been thinking about this decision for at least 2 years. At least.
- Be realistic about why. Know if you could have done better. Know if you made poor decisions. Know if it is just that your goals have changed. You’re not a failure – you’re just a different person than you were when you formed that dream.
- Jump into your next dream. Take as much time as you need, but be BRAVE and keep moving forward.
Be BRAVE. Fail big. Fail often.
P.S. Thanks Maggie for these shots of me working!