At the bottom of another ladder

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… OK, I’m not at the *bottom* of this ladder, since L&R has been around for 3 years. But still.

Near the bottom.

And as I look back at the last 15 years of my life or so I realize that I tried climbing partway up multiple ladders only to give up and start over. Acting/singing/performing, photography, academia, corporate business america…. and now this. L&R and my other sites. My internet empire. Online media + coaching

I “gave up” all for good, well-thought out reasons – pursuing Broadway is a hell-of-a-lot of work, especially if you’re not totally confident in your ability OR your desire to get there. Academia is a rough gig – you have to go where that 1 university has an open 20th century American Lit spot and then hope you can get tenure. Even if it is in _______ (Des Moines or Fresno or Quebec or whereever), and then *hope* that your husband can find a job there too. I’m not making excuses; just trying to give examples of what I mean.

And now I’m starting over again. When I quit my job in June, I told myself “now that I have all this extra time, I’m going to sky rocket!” … but, honestly? It’s taken me til about …. now to really wrap my head around scheduling my days and prioritizing my projects and adding in all the extra little things that are now my job since I’m home more than my husband.

It is impossible for me not to compare myself to other bloggers and online media experts that are much farther up this ladder than I am. Especially since I feel like I’ve been working hard my whole life. I mean, I HAVE been working hard … just at different things. Unfortunately, my Master’s degree in Literature doesn’t do a whole lot here. Neither does my 5 years of voice lessons or my wedding album samples.

So, now I just have to content myself with being at the bottom of another ladder … and focus on what I need to do to work up that ladder.

I feel like Onward and Upward comes at the perfect time every year. For whatever reason, the previous 3 Octobers have all involved SOME incident at my day job that reinforced that I wanted to quit eventually. And this October? Self-employed, at the bottom of another ladder and running the 3rd annual Onward and Upward workshop.

It’s my favorite. The participants have consistently been amazing, intelligent and helpful to one another, and I always learn more to add to the workshop the following year.

Weeks 2 and 3 of the Onward and Upward workshop is all about getting yourself in the mindset that you CAN change your life. That you CAN live something other than 40 years in a cubicle. To get you mentally prepared for starting over at the bottom of another ladder. Sign up for the email list here and get in with all the pre-registration extras and discount (through Sunday)!

live your great work online workshop

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  • Ffion September 18, 2013 at 2:21 am edit

    Thank you for being so honest :)

    I’m at the bottom of my freelance life ladder and it’s really hard at times. I have so many building sites for parts of my business that I still haven’t gotten round to doing, I struggle with my time-management and I suck at aquiring clients xD I’m slowly working everything out, but it’s taking time, and so often I feel so slow and I look at what others are achieving and feel like a total failure…

    It’s always so nice to hear from someone who’s also doing their own thing and being honest about the fact that it’s not always easy peasy pie and there are difficulties and challenges to face. So many people on the blogosphere make everything look so damn easy and churn out projects by the bucketload while others are struggling to make ends meet and constantly comparing themselves to the superstars…

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts so openly :)

  • Amy T Schubert September 18, 2013 at 3:25 pm edit

    Thanks, Ffion :)

    I think the self-promotion nature of the internet is deliberately to make things look easy and light-hearted. So we just always need to remind ourselves that we don’t know what they are editing out and not sharing, you know?

    Example: I had no idea Braid Creative struggled a ton when they first started. You never would guess, but Kathleen dropped a mention of that in a recent post!

    Either way – I’m glad to be starting over again here rather than trying to climb my way up the corporate ladder (for sure!)

  • Nicole M September 18, 2013 at 9:51 pm edit

    I can definitely relate to this post right now. I “gave up” on being a teacher halfway though getting my Education degree, when I realized it was not for me. Up until that point, that was the only career I’d wanted/considered, even since being a child. Since then I have gone through a few different types of jobs, trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. It usually starts out with high hopes, but I always find myself not really happy with where I am. Now I just need to find a ladder that I actually WANT to climb all the way up! That is the hard part…


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