And the GOAL is to make being brave such an integral part of my every day that every year going forward I can easily continue being brave and going out of my comfort zone and risking failure.
I need to risk more. I need to go out on more limbs and revel in uncertainty.
When I really stop to think, it’s a bit strange that I haven’t been more brave in my life. I mean, it’s not as though I’ve ever …. broken a bone jumping off a cliff, or lost my car gambling or was humiliated publicly. I don’t have any negative connotations associated with being brave.
And yet somehow I’ve internalized the idea that failure of any kind is to be avoided at all costs.
Mistakes make me anxious – even the teeny tiny mistakes make my face all flushed and my heart tightens. I can physically feel that second of anxiety of stress when I realize I’ve made an error that matters. That is the feeling I’m avoiding by not risking more. But I shouldn’t really worry about that because apparently studies show that when you feel you are allowed to make mistakes, you are significantly less likely to actually make them!
That feeling is not fatal.
I need to remember that. And the more mistakes I make, the more I fail, the bigger and bolder my risks will get and the more I’ll get used to that physical sensation if I fail.
As I type this (these last few weeks and in the coming months) … I’m in the middle of a big change – a lifestyle shift and negotiations and uncertainty and exposing myself and my decisions to scrutiny from all sides.
I’m finally (after years of putting it off for all kinds of good reasons and some bad reasons) mentally ready to just QUIT my day job and risk going full-time freelance. And, believe me, it is a risk. There’s a chance of failure. There’s a chance of going into debt just to buy groceries. There’s a chance of having to sell one of our cars just for the cash.
But, the more I think about it and the more I talk it over with Andrew, I realize those are small chances.
But, still. I MIGHT fail. I MIGHT screw something up royally. I MIGHT realize that working for myself isn’t for me and have to return hat in hand to the corporate world.
But, I think I’m ready to try. To risk it.
I think I’m ready to fail big. Don’t fail by copying others. Don’t fail by not trying. Don’t fail by never starting.
So this year I’m going to be brave.
I’m going to risk more. I’m going to move toward the possibility of failure.
Previous posts on failure: