I turned 30 this year.
I can’t believe it!
I really expected to have accomplished more in my life by now. I am always fascinated by those stories of child actors winning an Oscar at 10 or 11, or novelists whose debut book hits the best-selling list when they’re 24 (ahem, Jonathan Safran Foer).
Orson Welles made his masterpiece, “Citizen Kane,” at twenty-five. Herman Melville wrote a book a year through his late twenties, culminating, at age thirty-two, with “Moby-Dick.” Mozart wrote his breakthrough Piano Concerto No. 9 in E-Flat-Major at the age of twenty-one. (source)
Clearly I am behind!
I’m sure a big chunk of this sense of expectation has to do with the fact that I skipped a grade, was put in the ‘gifted’ and ‘honors’ programs at school and have always had 110% support from my parents. I am definitely of the generation that has always been told we’re special.
Did I fail? Have I disappointed everyone?? Since I’ve only got a Masters degree that I’m not really using and have a healthy marriage instead of a punishing career? (No excuse, I know.)
It’s frustrating for me to feel like I am “behind” in my career .. in my life. ….. Especially as someone who still doesn’t really feel like an adult, but also has a driving need to DO THINGS (whether that means accomplishments or experiences). Contradictory forces in me, there.
But, really, maybe 3o isn’t too old? Cory Doctorow’s first novel came out when he was 32. Not all that old, but what about Ian Fleming, who had a successful career in other industries before creating James Bond when he was 45.
Truth be told, many of those who seriously altered the landscape of our lives—from Charles Darwin to Sir Alexander Fleming, discoverer of penicillin—were individuals who found their groove later in life. Many even started out delayed, only to end up successes beyond expectation. (from an article on Psychology Today)
But then there was Alfred Hitchcock, who made “Dial M for Murder,” “Rear Window,” “To Catch a Thief,” “The Trouble with Harry,” “Vertigo,” “North by Northwest,” and “Psycho”—one of the greatest runs by a director in history—between his fifty-fourth and sixty-first birthdays. Mark Twain published “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” at forty-nine. Daniel Defoe wrote “Robinson Crusoe” at fifty-eight. (from The New Yorker)
Of course, you can take examples from both extremes.
What matters most is that you’re doing the best you can FOR YOU. And all these other ‘late bloomers’ make me feel better about my own trajectory …. like it’s not too late for me to do something special*.
I feel like up until the last year or so, I was just *looking* … kind of treading water … trying to figure out what I’m really supposed to be doing. Trying to determine what I’m really good at. What my GREAT WORK could be. I tried music, I tried academia, I tried traditional ‘office/business’ work …. All while I finish things like degrees or putting my husband through school or working to save a house-down-payment.
Now I’ve finished all those things and am looking around at what the next part of my story is. I love learning, and I love the research process …. both things that can identify a late bloomer. And I think I’m OK with that. At least, I’m learning to be OK with not fulfilling my initial expectation (genius! fame! success at a ridiculously young age!)
The Cézannes of the world bloom late not as a result of some defect in character, or distraction, or lack of ambition, but because the kind of creativity that proceeds through trial and error necessarily takes a long time to come to fruition. (source)
So right now … my husband is on his way to being crazy happy and successful in his chosen field, and I feel like I can take my turn to try again. To find what it is I should be doing …. And I think a big part of that is what I do here at Lemon and Raspberry.
What about you? Have you found your GREAT WORK? or are you late bloomer?
In Onward and Upward – my online workshop beginning September 4 – we’ll talk about finding our GREAT WORK, no matter what stage of life you’re in. I believe it’s never too late. I’d love if you could join us, so make sure you’re on the L&R email list to get pre-reg info and discount before it’s announced publicly!
*(yes, I realize this sounds ridiculous since I have potentially another 50+ years of life left!)
I was the first in my family to go to university (Shortly followed by my Mum who went back to college to retrain how cool is that!). I graduated university and had to get a job because my hubby was still at university having started a new course in my final year (I was doing year 3 of 3 and he was on year 1 of 3 when we got married). So I go and get a job and somehow that’s where it got stuck.
I have a family member who regularly asks me “When are you going to do a job related to your degree?” Well my degree is in Performing Arts and Professional Practice, so I can go back to university and study to be a teacher (that’s another year of study while probably not working unless I can get a part time job), I can go back and study for an Masters in something (I did look at doing Media Studies (Mass Communication) – so that would have covered blogging, social media etc but again money is a problem both for fees and for supporting ourselves – do I quit my job to go back and study?
Then there’s things like do I just start over with evening classes around the day job – talk about complicated lol. I work in customer service and it’s not the best some days I feel like every customer I speak to is telling me that I suck – the company is too small for me to move to a different department. So I’m looking elsewhere but that’s a bit complicated is this economic climate right?
That is so incredible that you were the first to go to university in your family!!! Good for you! I feel like thats a pretty big line to cross (depending on your family)
Everything is complicated in this environment …. I applied to a job that is doing almost exactly what I’ve been doing for the last 5 years and couldn’t even get an interview! And there could be a million reasons why …
It’s rough, for sure.
Good luck!
I graduated with a Health Administration degree in ’06 when I was 24. Went from job to job, not really happy, and finally got laid off in ’09. Decided to change my career path completely. It took years of prep, (prerequisites, research, wait list, testing, etc) until I was finally accepted into an RN program. At the age of 30, I am only 1 semester in and have 3 to go. I’ll graduate when I’m 31 and then have to take the NCLEX board exam to finally be a licensed registered nurse. And I want kids so they will just have to wait till I’m working as an RN! AHH! Anyway, my point is that as long as we are passionate at what we are doing or working toward, it doesn’t matter now old you are. I think we often compare ourselves to others. At least when I do, it doesn’t do me any good. Just focus on you
Success is what you make it, just don’t give up on whatever it is your goals are. (I totally understand where you’re coming from though). Turning 30 was an eye opener for me too! And then, a day later, it didn’t feel so different after all…
Yea, 30 sounds like a HUGE number that week … but now it’s more like, yea how old am I again?
I actually loved college and am still glad I got a Masters degree …. even if I don’t really use it. It would be *nice* if that degree helped me make more money, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t.
There are worse jobs to have when you have kids ….
I have a friend who is a nurse with 4 (little) kids at home and I think it’s really nice for her to not actually work 5 days/week!
I feel that way a lot… especially when I think of the ages that most of my favorite authors were when they were first published. I just have to remind myself that it’s better to spend a long time working on something great than it is to be able to say, “I was first published in my early twenties”.
I would recommend you read the whole of the 2 articles I linked to in the post … they talk about the fundamental difference between “prodigies” (young successes) and “late bloomers” …. and after reading more in depth I absolutely feel like I would belong in the latter category
I will be reading them sometime this week! I’d be in the latter category as well. I also know that a lot of young authors end up hating their early work, but they usually get the most critical acclaim (ironic). I want to give myself room to grow before I decide exactly what kind of author I want to be so I don’t end up boxing myself in too early.
It’s great to be able to reach your goals, no matter what they are and when they happen. And fortunately it’s quite possible to be successful, valuable and fulfilled without being famous. I have always believed that being there for the people in my life is more important than long hours in a lucrative, but stressful and demanding career. Sometimes I have executed this better than other times, but I’ve made many life decisions based on this principle. When it all comes down to it, our relationships are the most valuable component of our lives. If I can reach my goals and still love and invest in others, then I say, go for it! My life will be more balanced and fulfilling in the long run. If I don’t have time to invest in others and love them well, then no goal is worth achieving at the expense of those I care most about. Amy, I look forward to seeing what great work God leads you to in the months and years to come.
the choice isn’t always between people and a lucrative career…. sometimes it’s between a just-ok job and being poor. Especially in this environment.
I can completely relate to this, I turn 30 in a months time and I definitely feel like I could have done more. I wish I could go back and tell my 20 year old self what it’s taken me 10 years to work out. I am finally working towards what I want to do with my life (jewellery making), I am happily married and slowly working towards my goals, health and career-wise. However my job has absolutely nothing towards my degree either, and hubby and I still live with his mum because we can’t even afford to rent at the moment. I don’t about you guys, but in the UK, I think they should change the education system so kids can work out what they excel at and how their personality etc effects where they will enjoy working, as opposed to if you’re good at sports or math. I mean I was good at German and English at school, but I did terribly at English at college and I chose to do art subjects too. At university I studied art and creative writing, and haven’t really done much of either since.
They definitely need to change the education system in some way …. I *had* to take so many classes that have not impacted my life (or even my brain/knowledge). What a waste of time.
I still don’t know how to do a proper lab experiment 
I understand wanting students to be “well-rounded” but if you turn 15 and you KNOW you’re not interested in science or history or whatever, why be forced to take 3 years worth of classes? When you could otherwise learn FAR more about your subject of interest and be better equipped to make your way in that industry?
All that time and money wasted on me in chemistry classes
Sigh.
I’m not sure if I’m a late bloomer or if I just peaked in high school.
I find myself paralyzed with choice because I’m good at a lot of things, but not drawn to any one in particular most days.
OR, it’s just near impossible to make a living doing the things I love – scrapbooking, thrift shopping, beading.
Sometimes I think my career destiny is to be a mom. I’d kick ass at it. But then, I need to find a job somewhere else first, so I can afford to have a kid someday. 2 months from today is my 30 – ugh.
I feel the same way
It would be a lot easier for me to figure out what I wanted to do if I was CLEARLY more fantastic at one thing than at others.
But I’m not. So right now it feels like a matter of having to choose between my 7000 interests
I was going to say that I too, am a late bloomer, but then I read Mel’s first sentence! hahaha! I hate to think that high school was my peak, but this whole turning 30 thing has definitely got me wondering…courage les filles!
there is no way you peaked in high school – although you were pretty awesome in high school
I definitely struggle with these thoughts as I get older. I do feel like I’ve done some amazing things in my career and am proud of the things I’ve been able to accomplish. However, I’ve had my own fair share of wondering if it’s enough. I haven’t written that novel, and I still don’t know how to broker world peace. I think it’s helpful to stop and celebrate the little things we have been able to accomplish and realize just how special they are. You’ve started some amazing sites from scratch, and while there are bigger and brighter things in your future, think of how cool what you’ve already done is!
I also love that we’re never too old to reinvent ourselves. There are things out there that I want to do and try (career-wise), and in the right time, I can’t wait to make them happen.
As someone who is nearly 32 and just beginning my first real career type job. I relate to how you feel. Particularly when I look at all the people I went to school with. Many have had careers for 5-10 years, are married, have kids, and so on. Every now and then, I let these thoughts bother me. But only for a moment before reminding myself how awesome my life is.
I finally realised that I’m my own judge. If I consider my life successful, it doesn’t matter that others may not. I may not have a house or piles of money. Those weren’t my priority. The piles of money still aren’t. I set my heart on travelling and other experiences. I’ve accomplished those (mostly). I still want to travel, but now my heart is ready for a bit more.
Like you, I am ready for the next bit of my story. I’m excited to see what comes next.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts ‘on being a late bloomer’. I will definitely read the articles you have linked to with interest!
I have a BA Honours in Music Performance and I am often asked why I didn’t want to go in to the music industry and my answer is I studied my degree because I wanted to at that point in my life, not necessarily as a career choice, but because it’s what I wanted to do at the time and it’s what I have a passion for. It’s like you have said, yes it would be *nice* if my degree would help towards my career but it isn’t always the case anymore. I’m sure there are other people out there that choose to do a degree purely for the passion of the subject as well.
I can always use it later in life if I wish though…
Even though I am in a job that I am happy with at the moment, there’s nothing to say I won’t change my mind about it. I am quite an ambitious person and in fact there are other areas of work I would be interested in working within as well.
I really do think it depends a lot on how you feel about your working life, combined with your personal life and the circumstances you face at the time which determine what you do next.
And if that classes me as a late bloomer to the rest of the world then I am more than happy to carry that with me along with fellow late bloomers.
Again thank you for sharing xo